Confidence Crushers

Confidence is such a sensitive thing. One minute you can feel on top of the world, and the next you feel like the world is crushing you as it walks all over you. You work so hard to build yourself up–whether it’s hours in the gym, tons of reading, or whatever you can do to build confidence. Once you start to feel it, it’s a great ride–you’re standing tall and you feel like you can do no wrong. Everything is better and goes smoothly for you.

And, yet some times, it takes one little thing to burst that bubble and tear you down brick by brick. You don’t see it coming–it’s actually like a back-handed slap that can come from behind your back.

I’ve been feeling confident about my race training. I knew I had to take two weekends off right before my half marathon coming this weekend, so I had pushed up my training and actually had run 12-13 miles three weekends in a row just in the past month. But it’s been the big break that’s concerned me. I’ve been working on inclines/hill intervals on the treadmill and running different courses with hills (even once on part of the actual course), thinking I’ve done enough to prep for the Run the Bluegrass. But suddenly today, as I’m reading people’s tweets and Facebook posts about the hellacious hills that “bless” the course (especially mile 9, so I hear) my mind starts reeling…did I do enough training? Can my knee (which has been bothering me the past few weeks or so) handle the 13.1 miles and the hills?

I’ve basically decided that I probably shouldn’t chance running in the Derby Half Marathon 30 days after the Run The Bluegrass because I don’t know how my body would handle it. A total 180 from how I was feeling previously.

Another confidence blower came to me in my confidence in my abilities as a dog agility handler/trainer. Without getting into too much detail (since I know the majority of you aren’t 100% up on your dog speak), I mishandled something in the last round of Nationals in Tulsa that I mishandled last year at Nationals in Reno. I didn’t learn from that mistake. And then this weekend, at an agility trial, I didn’t work the courses or the dogs like a handler who had just returned from Nationals. It might not mean much to some, but my ability to work an animal successfully (it’s the same with horses) is very important to me because it’s a part of who I am.

It’s things like that that makes you yearn for just a little affirmation that you’re still doing alright–that you still look good in those jeans, or that you’ve done some great things with your dogs. You know you shouldn’t have to need to push for those compliments, but they tend to make a difference.

So what do you do to give your confidence a little boost?


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