I would never really think of myself as an emotional person. I try to keep most of my emotions in tact, unless I’m frustrated or angry, then I have trouble controlling those emotions (I’ll blame it on the fact that I’m a scorpio). No matter what I always try to hide my emotions of disappointment, sadness, inner frustration, etc., from others because I don’t want to bother anyone with how I’m feeling–I worry more about the other person.
I’m a bit of an emotional eater. I’ll eat because I’m depressed, I’ll eat because I want to savor something to make me happy, and I’ll eat because I’m bored and lonely. Almost six years ago I had gotten to the point that I was so depressed I had gained a lot of weight. After seeing some photos of myself at that stage, I kickstarted my fitness journey and lost about 25-30 pounds on my own, and swore I’d never get that bad again.
However lately I’ve been letting my hidden emotions get the best of me, and my health. Things aren’t always easy when you’re a newlywed and you’re struggling with being a grownup but still wanting to be young and in love, and it’s especially not easy when one of you is dealing with unemployment and the emotions that comes from that. Separation in the house means I find myself wearing out a trail from the couch to the kitchen in search of snacks–cereal and M&M’s being the latest enablers. I’m still working out, and still training for my upcoming half marathons, and I’m eating well for my three main meals of the day. But I’m doing myself the misfortune of all the snacking. Yes, snacking can be a good thing, if it’s done in moderation and with healthy foods like veggies. But when you’re adding on sugary items like cereal, etc., it’s not healthy eating.
So how does one combat the situation? I have no willpower when it comes to food. My husband says, “You can say no…you can walk away from the cabinet” but I think of that immediate gratification and all that self restraint goes out the window. For me, it’s best to have all of the temptations out of the house. It was much easier to do so when I lived alone (and it drove my parents and M nuts when I would have bare cabinets, but hey, it worked!), but it’s so hard to do when there’s the two of you, with two different tastes and two different ideas of what tastes good.
So I’m going to put myself on a challenge for the next month and a half. Lent is coming up, and I want to use this year as a mission for health and push M to follow along with me and take some positive steps in the direction of health for ourselves and our relationship. (I’ll write more about our little challenge later.)
I was inspired to read about Clare’s struggle with emotional eating a while ago, and I wanted to put it out there that I know I’m not perfect. I preach healthy meals to my friends and am always working out, but until you’re honest with yourself about your shortcomings, you’re not going to be able to make the changes you need to truly be healthy, and happy with yourself.
So for those of you out there struggling with emotions, I hear you. I’m there with you. Maybe writing down those emotions will help get them out, so they’re not eating away at us while we’re eating away at the cereal boxes. (Can you tell my favorite munchie is cereal?) We have to make do with what we’ve got and do the best for ourselves. Starting now.
- The Emotional Value of Food (drsharma.ca)
- PUT DOWN THE DONUT!: Stop Holding Yourself Hostage with Food (barbellnation.wordpress.com)
- Emotional Eating (confessionsdreams.wordpress.com)