The Decision: Who’s In Your Bridal Party?


One of the toughest things I’ve had to do so far for wedding planning has been deciding who was in my bridal party. I put a lot of pressure on myself to choose the right people, but then I worried about if I made the right decision or not (and I still do, quite honestly).

The latest wedding I've been in (second from the right), which was pretty fun.

For me, I worry a lot about my friends and their feelings. I always have. I’ve never been one to have a core group of friends that’s followed me throughout my life. Instead I have multiple circles of friends–some who have been around a couple of years and some that are newer, some that are involved with dog agility and some involved in horses, etc. I’ve had very close friends for a couple of years that have slid back to someone you occasionally chat with about random things–I blame this on how much I’ve moved around and the different directions my life has taken me in the past ten years or so.

Plus, I’ve been in so many weddings–there was no way I could follow the rule of “If you were in her wedding, you have to invite her to be in yours…” (Does anyone really follow that rule?) It’s not that I’m not grateful for being in their wedding–it was a great experience and I was privileged to be such an important part of their big day–but I just couldn’t do it.

My best friend from high school's wedding, which I was proud to be MOH in 2007 (to the right of bride).

We want to have a small wedding–large bridal parties and small weddings just don’t work well. Plus, I knew that Matt would have a problem getting enough groomsmen to even out the numbers because most of his close friends are spread out all over the country, with families, which makes it hard to get them to Lexington without it being too expensive for them. So that was my saving grace to have just a couple of girls in my party. But then the hard part came to choose those two girls (my sister as matron-of-honor was a no-brainer), and this is where I stressed, and maybe had some tears, the most (so far…).

Basically what it boiled down for me was who has shown the most support and the most excitement for my engagement, because that’s going to be the person who will continue to have a lot of excitement (you hope) throughout the wedding process. My friend AD, that I’ve known for 11 years now, has been the most excited about the wedding–pushing me to look at dresses and sharing her fashionable sense with me as I chose dresses or talked colors (I have no fashion sense…).

Another wedding in 2008 (far left), but I unfortunately don't talk with the bride any more. 😦

Then I chose my friend M from agility because she has been such a supportive friend with everything–my relationship with Matt, helping me train the dogs, etc. Plus, she’s always a pleasure to be around and we always laugh about something. (It doesn’t hurt that she’s a big crafts person, too, so that should come in handy with all the DIY stuff we have going on for the wedding.)

Did I leave out some people that I would have loved to be in the wedding? Of course! There were friends that I had been very close to, but for some reason or another, some distance has gotten between us. Other friends I knew had too much on their plate already with school and their families, that I felt selfish to ask them to give up some of their precious free time to help me with the wedding. There are friends that live farther than two hours away that I knew I’d have a blast having in my bridal party, but I also knew it was hard to be part of something so far away.

So I made the decision I made, and I’m happy with my choice. Sure, in the back of my mind I’m going to worry about if I’ve hurt anyone’s feelings all the way up until the wedding and beyond. But I know the girls that are going to be standing by me at the altar will have my back for years to come, and I hope they know the same is true for me.

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3 thoughts on “The Decision: Who’s In Your Bridal Party?

  1. That’s always an awkward choice – for me it boiled down to who are the girls I know I will always call when I need to talk? My fiance and I have an uneven number (he has 6 and I have 4), but he has 2 brothers and I have 1, and we have no sisters, so that was already 3 on his side! It wouldn’t have been fair to have him include only 1 friend just so we were even. I don’t mind that it’s uneven – there weren’t 2 other clear cut people for me to add and I didn’t want a ton of people.

  2. Thanks for adding my post to your fabulous one! It seems like you put all the thinking into the decision that matters which I also had to do – I couldn’t be happier with my bridal party and it seems you feel the same about yours 🙂

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